hyphenated twentysomething

"She's Hindi"

VS.








Episode 1: HR Training 101: Cultural Annoyances

Scene:

Event: Breakfast
Characters: Me, My department's VP, guy#1, guy#2 (thirty-something Indian-American>>>aka "Hummer" for those who know)
Location: Company's cafeteria
Time: Insanely early on a Monday morning

VP: Hey Payal, what would you like for breakfast.

Me: Oh,....I'll just have a hash brown please. (smiling and selecting the toppings I would like in it)

guy#1: Oh, you don't want eggs or bacon? They're really good here.

Me: No, I'm fine. Thanks. (smile)

guy #2: [Looks away]

VP: Are you a vegetarian? You're a vegetarian right?

Me: Yes, yeah I am. (smiling)

guy #1: Oh, you're a vegetarian? (in shock) Wow. (absorbing such unbelievable, unheard of information). I didn't know that. (still reeling from such a drastic revelation).

guy#2: (Looks directly at cook, who is busy cooking according to all the orders.)

guy#1: (still trying to comprehend such a decision) So...let me ask you...how do you get your amino acids? What sort of foods do you eat?

Me: Umm...Well, I get my protein by eating a lot of lentils.

guy#2: Really? And that is sufficient?

Me: (a little exasperated; becoming a little awkward at realizing that this is turning out to be a lecture on vegetarianism 101) Yes, it's quite sufficient. I have lentils every night. Also to maintain a balanced diet I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables.

guy#1: (relaxing, nodding his head) Wow, that's great! (Shaking his head) I didn't know that.

....Meanwhile guy#2: (Looking away...Looking away...)

Me: (in my mind to guy#2: Say something you idiot! Act like you have heard of vegetarians!!! Or for that matter, Indians!)

VP: Yeah, actually I visited India a few years ago and I noticed that when you order at restaurants, usually you can choose from veg or non-veg.

guy# 1: Wow. (apparently the only word that kept coming to his mind to evaluate feelings of astonishment, appreciation, shock, and bewilderment). Well that's nice. (apparently, not knowing what to say, but nevertheless very impressed. By what exactly? Who knows.)

...Pause...

...Awkward Silence...

Narrator: And then as if this wasn't already turning out to be an awkward morning, the bomb drops.

VP: Yeah, you know, she's HINDI.

Me: Going through my mind: (WHAT!!!!!!!....Trying not to laugh, give a smart-alec answer, or tell my boss, REALLY? IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY? WHY DON'T YOU THINK THAT OVER FOR A MOMENT. YOU KNOW, GO BACK TO YOUR "WORLD RELIGIONS" CLASS WAY BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL OR WHATEVER AND TRY TO REMEMBER THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RELIGION AND A LANGUAGE!! NOW, IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU WANT TO COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH? Especially considering the fact that you toured India?!)

VP: (Still smiling)

Me: You mean Hindu. Yeah, I'm Hindu. (trying to emphasize the "u" and still attempting not to laugh)

guy#2: (Finally looks over. Smirk comes to his face when he realizes the slip-up. But then quickly looks away to absolve himself from any part of that conversation.)

VP: Right. Yeah, Hindu ( or as she pronounced it..Hindoooo).

guy#1: Wow. I didn't know that about Hinduism. So are all Hindus vegetarians?

Me: Well, some are and some aren't. Not everyone necessarily practices it or believes in it. You know, everyone just does what they believe in. (really hoping this doesn't turn out into a long teach-in about the ethics, history, and practices of Hinduism. I mean I'm proud of it and all, but I'm not in the mood to give any sort of lecture, especially on a Monday morning.)

guy#1: Oh. okay. Interesting.

...Cook: Your orders are ready.

Me: [Thank God (my Hindi god that is;) ]

End of Scene.

So..maybe that was a little too harsh. But really, can we get some decent diversity training in our corporate world? Or for that matter, proper education in our schools and history classes. And no, not like the one proposed in California. The sad thing is, these so-called "characters" are actually really really nice, intelligent people (yes even guy#2. although, maybe not so nice). And I mean, for guy#2, a fellow second-gener Indian-American, I wasn't expecting him to provide some sort of defense or explanation. Just simply to act like he knew what I was talkling about and act like he had heard of India and Hinduism before. Even acknowledge his presence during the conversation. Is that too much to ask??

Anyways, I know, I'm a bitter, angry woman. T-shirt motto for the day: I need help and therapy. What's your excuse?

Stay tuned next week, for the continued adventures of "Payal, angry woman, and her gripe against (fill in the blank)." Next week: The eternal question: "So..hmm. Payal...That's an interesting name. Where is that from?"

Believe me you don't want to miss it:)

posted by payal @ 9:25 PM